Salam
Here are some raugh guidelines on how our prophet SAW guided us on weddings in Islam..Allahu Akhbar...
1) Choose the right partner: 'men can choose women because of their wealth, position, beauty and agama,if utamakan the agama, thus u will profit from it' hadith bukhari and Muslim. 'as for the women, if comes a guy with good iman and akhlak, then marry him' hadith tarmidzi, hadis hasan(baik) menurut al-Albaniy.
2) Akad nikah at a suitable place. Paling afdal is in Masjid (but take note that women in mentruation(inclusive of bride and guests) are not allowed in the praying area, corridor/hall is allowed though). 'pukullah kompang' Hadis (hassan a.k.a good) ahmad and Tarmidzi
3) No such thing as hantaran is WAJIB...so yes if u dont hv anough money ITS OK not to have hantaran. If ada rezeki by all means (but don't forget to be humble because we if niat to riya', riya' hukum is syirik. The only thing that is WAJIB in nikah is the MAHAR(mas kahwin) firman Allah SWT in surrah al nisaa ayat no 4.(refer to alquran). the amount of the mas kahwin is determined by both the future bride and grooms family. The less burden the guy gets from collecting the mahar, the more Allah s.w.t will berkat the marriage, (refer to hadith sahih Iman Ahmad) also (hadith muslim, al-hakim, & ibnu Majah :- 'sebaik-baik mas kahwin ialah mas kahwin yang paling mudah dan ringan'
4) Give out Favours during nikah, Rasullulah SAW galakkan us to give out manisan ex:dates(kurma) during the nikah
5) Isytiharkan ur nikah kepada as many poeple as you can, so we dont create any fitnah.
6) As for the walimah, in Islam it says that 'adakanlah majlis walimah walaupun dengan seekor kambing' hadith muslim, clearly here shows that even those who don't have that much money still can afford to get married. & yes, for those with more rezeki, having wedding in hotels, halls, is still allowed in Islam, as long as your niat is not to menunjuk-nunjuk, Para tetamu has both the rich and the poor.'Rasulullah SAW says:- the worst of walimah is those who only invited the rich, and forgetting the poor' hadith bukhari and Muslim.
And hindarkan segala adat yang against Islam esp those came from other religion and culture example. 'Rasulullah SAW says 'anyone yang menyerupai adat suatu kaum, maka that person will termasuk dalam that kaum', hadith Ahmad and Abu Daud.( now this can be a big sin if the adat we are following is amongst the non believer)
7) It's Sunnah for the guests to congratulate the newlywed
8) Malam pertama, solat jemaah together (solat wajib and solat sunat) for Allah SWT will berkat a marriage when it starts the right way.
This are the only 8 things needed for a muslim wedding....so there is no such thing as kahwin nowadays is expensive, It will only be mahal if u want it to be mahal (life is all about choices). Allah s.w.t has made things so simple for everyone. It is up to us whether we want to follow the simple way. Marriage is sangat digalakkan in Islam, so I don't think we should go around telling people how expensive wedding is nowadays and how hard it is to do it.Why not instead, show people how in Islam we don't need to do things the hard way.
I went to 2 weddings 2007, the brides came from very rich families (who had their own private jet,helicopter, private yatch and many2 cars)... 1 wedding they spent RM5k total, the other one was below RM20k, after realizing there is so much more in life than just a huge grand wedding. One of them decided to give the rest of the money to the pakistan earthquake victims instead. InsyaAllah the good deed they did was accepted and rewarded by Allah s.w.t.
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