Friday, January 28, 2011

Flashback Friday: Royal Wardrobe Malfunctions and Mishaps

I'd like to apologize in advance for the content of this post. Máxima made me do it. Let me tell you something: once you start looking at wardrobe mishaps and malfunctions, you can't stop. It's the train wreck that keeps on giving. Allow me to demonstrate:

Apart from flashbulb peril, Máxima seems to be prone to earring problems. (Goes with the territory when you wear giant rocks as jewelry, I suppose.) Noticing you lost an earring (left) is not nearly as embarrassing as not noticing (right).

Left to Right: Crown Princess Mary, Sara Buys (now Sara Parker-Bowles, daughter-in-law of Camilla) at Charles and Camilla's wedding, an engaged Lady Diana Spencer, Princess Michael of Kent
The unplanned problems are the saddest, really. Even the best laid outfit plans can go astray. Poor Máxima's not alone, Mary's also had some issues with camera flashes and visible undergarments. And who looks at the back of their skirt in a bus-climbing pose before purchase? Another failure to consider camera angles resulted in one of the most famous royal wardrobe malfunctions of all time from poor Diana. At least she didn't do it intentionally...ahem, Princess Michael.

Princess Eugenie's among the ones I just expect to have some embarrassing moments, what with all those perilously short skirts. She's not the only one to have let the wind get the best of her, though:

L to R: Queen Elizabeth, Queen Paola, the Duchess of Cornwall, Princess Letizia, the Princess of Wales, Princess Madeleine
Oh, wind. How dare you mess with the royal composure. You have to give credit to these ladies for rolling on like nothing happened after such unfortunate incidents - some worse than others. (If you recall Letizia's windy moment, you know that I am posting the most delicate photograph I could find. Poor girl.) I had a Marilyn Monroe moment once myself, on a street in London. It still pains me to think of it.

Extra composure points are awarded for those that have to deal with the wind on the worst possible days. Poor Marie. I'd make a face so much worse than that if nature decided to have its way with my wedding dress. Oh, we'd have words, Nature and I.

Some royals are more prone to mishaps than others, it seems. Mary's lost her hat on more than one occasion (at Parliament before her wedding, and not so long ago in Vietnam). Lucky for her dashing soldiers always seem to be around to do the hat fetching. Recently, she lost her shoe while in Washington, D.C, proving why a princess shouldn't leave the house without a pedicure. Just in case.

Here's my question: is Sarah Ferguson truly more prone to wardrobe malfunctions, or do people just take extra delight in her mistakes?
I know, Sarah. I'm not helping. But I take a stance like Boyfriend Dave there does: what good does a sour face do us? Just have a laugh and move on.

Finally, my investigation into the phenomenon of  the royal wardrobe malfunction turned up a few particularly disturbing incidences. What do you call it when a mishap is planned, and prepared for, and...intentional?
L to R: Princess Mabel, Princess Kalina of Bulgaria, Princess Caroline
Lest anyone be tempted to make excuses for these ladies, let me clarify: this is Mabel attending the King of Norway's birthday celebrations, Kalina attending the silver wedding anniversary in Luxembourg, and Caroline at the Rose Ball. Not a costumed function in sight.

Listen: if I have to be scarred for life, so do you. We're in this together, friends.

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